A Mass Moment

Having a young family, it is hard to get to Mass and make it through to the end let alone get anything meaningful out of the time spent with our Lord!

Currently we have 4 children.  Our oldest daughter just turned 6!  The twin boys just turned 3!  And our 'baby' just turned 1!  Yes it has been the season of birthdays in our house!  Needless to say, all of our children need direction or attention throughout Mass and there are only two of us!

It started with our daughter.  There was only one, but she was a busy one!  Even at 6 weeks old when I thought she should happily sleep wrapped in a wrap for the Easter Vigil, she proceeded to fuss and cry and was only happy when we were outside in the lightly falling snow!  It didn't get better!  We have not been to the Easter Eve service since.  I hope to return one day!

As she got older she just needed more room to move.  There wasn't a cry room but we could stand in the foyer and watch mass through the glass doors.  If my daughter would sit still in my lap for 5 seconds I would start wondering what was wrong!  She wanted to Go Go Go!  Even at 3 and 4 she wanted to move and climb and would happily have spent her time climbing onto daddy's shoulders or crawling under the pews as opposed to sitting looking at a book or coloring a picture.

This was definitely not conducive to a meditative Mass!  I was lucky sometime to hear the readings or part of the homily, but I was often so distracted that even if I did hear them it didn't stick in my memory and I would walk away from the Mass remembering nothing. 

Then we had the twins!  Two boys!  Amazingly it has been easier to maintain the peace in the pew with twin boys more than with our daughter.  For the first couple of years our daughter was still the biggest challenge in Mass and we expected the most out of her!  Finally at around 5 yo she started to calm down.  Now she is less likely to climb all over and distract everyone, but it is still work to get her to participate and focus even a little.

The boys may have been calmer, but there was always two of them.  We would switch between holding one each, or one would hold both while the other would mind our daughter.  We were both proficient at juggling two babies at once but our attention was always divided!

Then we added one more!  Again a calm happy little boy but one more little soul to mind and shape and bounce and chase!  And chase!  And chase!  Yes he is mobile now and he likes to crawl off!  Under the pew.  Out in the aisle.  Back under the pew I am sitting on!  And all with a smile and barely a backwards glance!

I love our children!  They are generally happy, healthy, and well behaved.  But boy are they busy!  They all want to go!  They enjoy climbing and wrestling and making noise!  You may find the twins flipping through the music book and sitting quietly for a minute or two but really they are raring to go, ready to run out the door as soon as the Mass has ended.

Where does that leave us?  My husband and I have often asked on our way home, "how was Mass?"  If we had stayed in the pew it was a win!  If I could tell you anything about the readings or the homily it was a success.  The idea of Mass being meditative or uplifting or refreshing like I had experienced as a single or newly married woman was not even on the radar!

I often felt like Mass was a challenge to get through instead of a place to be nourished.  I looked forward to the day when the children would be old enough to mind themselves and I could again inter more deeply into the Mass.  Contemplate on the readings and bring Christ into my life at each Mass.


I remember being single and looking at other young families with their children and longed for the day that I could sit holding my own children in my arms.  A gift from God and share the Mass with them.  All that I could teach them.  How good they would be.  Reality crashed down on my idealism. 

Even still today, I look at other families and see their young children kneeling when they kneel, standing when they stand and trying to follow along and wish my children would do likewise without all my prodding and stressing.  I wonder what am I doing wrong to struggle so much.  I think there has to be something more!

I know Christ meets us where we are!  He is there in Mass waiting for us!  The Mass was made for us!  Even when we are completely distracted, God knows our intention and acknowledges our effort and rewards us for our presence.  But we also need to be open to His presence.  I can not be open the way I was when I had no children and I can not wait until they are grown to open myself to Him again.  There has to be an answer for now. 

I've recently found solace in what I have come to term my Mass Moment!  Each Mass amidst the chaos I try to find one moment where I can focus on the Mass.  I ignore everything around me and open my heart to God.  I open my mind to the words that are being said, whether it be song, scripture or homily.  I make a point to remember those words, calling to mind a picture or fuller understanding of what is being said.  I find my eye in the storm and turn my thoughts to Heaven!  It may only last a minute or a moment but I take it as my own!

Finding my Mass Moment has given the Mass back to me one moment at a time!  I feel greater peace at the end of the day knowing I have had that time with God, however short!  Mass hasn't changed much on the It still often feels like a 4 ring circus, but I have found that taking that moment to spend with God makes all the difference.

Motherhood is often like that.  Our children are consuming but we need to find time to fill ourselves or we have nothing left to give them.   How much more important is that in respects to the Mass.  How much can God do with the little pieces we give him freely.  He takes that little offering and multiplies it much like the loaves.  How much that little moment means when  He opens for us Eternity.  I am glad I have found my Mass Moment!